I came across an article today that discussed whether or not pornography should be considered adultery. http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200810/adultery-porn
From what I gather, the main message of the article is that pornography is often used as a deterrence for other more harmful acts. In other words, the male counter part would be 'better off' watching pornography than actually having sex with someone in person. I can safely assume male here because only 3% of women watch pornography regularly compared to 80% of males that have at least watched some porn if not regularly. It also highlights that women should not be offended by their partners use of pornography because all men will watch it regardless.
I might be coined a feminist here, but I don't agree that watching porn is a harmless activity when a male is in a relationship unless his partner is not offended. These are my reasons, and I will begin by stating a quote by Tyron Edwards “Thoughts lead on to purpose, purpose leads on to actions, actions form habits, habits decide character, and character fixes our destiny”.
And in case you don't believe this, please take a look at this short article: http://www.flyingsolo.com.au/p269212782_How-positive-thoughts-cause-positive-actions.html.
It is about how positive thoughts lead to positive actions. It has been proven by psychologists that our thoughts "self talk" are very influential to the sole determiner in our actions.
So my beef with pornography is that it usually exploits women. By exploit and degrade I am talking about the pornography's main purpose is to humiliate the woman. Or in some way treat her as she has no choice in having sex, and must therefore submit to the men. I don't want to be in a relationship with a man who would watch non degrading porn, but I am particularly worried about the notion that watching a women be degraded is not only ok but should be accepted as normal. Non degrading porn is far less threatening on this point.
When males watch women become exploited and degraded it creates thoughts. These thoughts lead to actions. The actions expressed by the male are going to be a want to degrade a female. Now many people will say that watching porn doesn't necessarily leads to these actions. This is true, not all males that watch porn are going to exploit or degrade a woman, but with psychological research the chances of this want to degrade are high. Not to mention, it's not healthy for men to have thoughts of degrading other humans. Would it be healthy to have thoughts about murdering other people continuously? NO. So why is it considered ok to have thoughts about mistreating females?
I personally don't think its ok to promote or watch females being exploited. If i did, I would be a hypocrite on the same level that an animal rights endorser would watch dogs fight to the death.
Unfortunately, many of the women who are in pornography have been sexually abused previous in their life. Sadly, when a child's first sexual experience is abuse, that child is usually not turned on by anything but abuse. This destroys the child's chance for a healthy sexual relationship for many years to come. Worse yet, is that many children block the abuse out and have no idea why they are different.
People who have had sex offender treatment are said to have a sex addiction. An addiction to pornography is just as unhealthy as any sex addiction, and is very hard to break.
I also have a problem with the article eluding to monogamy as having too harsh of fidelity requirements. I don't think that being faithful to one person is all that hard, it does, however; require self restraint. No I'm not Christian, or religious for that matter. I find cheating to be a very disrespectful and hurtful thing to do to someone that you are in a relationship with, not because God says it's bad. Seriously, if you want to have sex with more than one partner, break up and find another one. Don't just go on and hurt the one you have!
So basically, I am not for pornography. I don't think it is a healthy outlet for sexual tension in a relationship. If the male has that much of an addiction, it may be completely unhealthy and has the possibility of leading to infidelity. This is because thoughts lead to actions. It's proven. This is how they fix people with low self esteem and it can be how you ruin your relationship.